02 April 2011

B for Bridesmaid (Featuring Quasi-Comedic Flash Fiction)

This post is brought to you by the letter B.


I bought a bridesmaid's dress at David's Bridal this week for my friends' wedding in August. And then I'll be a bridesmaid for another set of friends in October. It seems I'm entering the Wedding Phase of my life.

I had questions. So I did what any normal person would do. I asked the internet. And I asked the dictionary.

So what's the deal with weddings?

Basically, two people who are in love want to celebrate their lifelong commitment to each other with their friends and family. It's like a big party for a major life decision! Totally rad!

What's a Bridesmaid?

Merriam-Webster tells me this:

brides.maid n 1. a woman attendant of a bride 2. one that finishes just behind the winner

Woah. What? Anybody besides me find that second definition utterly hilarious?

That made me want to write a story. So I did. Here's a 99-word flash fiction piece for your enjoyment.
Always the bridesmaid
Susan spurted across the finish line, Lisa gasping right behind. Jen, Tina, and Naomi nearly plowed Lisa over seconds later in a cloud of dust and sweat. 
Susan stepped forward, smiling, to take the hand of the tall, handsome groom. He slid a shimmering diamond ring onto her finger.
“Looks like Lisa’s the bridesmaid again,” Tina tittered.
Lisa brushed damp bangs out of her eyes. 
“I may be bridesmaid twenty times today,” she said, “but I’ve just warmed up.”
She smiled sharply and nodded toward the remaining groom standing at the edge of the track.
“That one’s mine, sisters.”

Now You!
Do you have any funny ideas about definition 2? How do you define "bridesmaid"? What does it mean to you? Most importantly: can you recommend any completely hilarious books about weddings?