17 December 2013

The Extraordinary Difficulty of Getting Pictures on Walls

One wouldn't think it would take an extraordinary amount of effort to get pictures hung on walls. Yet here I am, months later, with pictures yet to be hung.

It's not that it's not important to me, it's that it involves completing a series of errands before the final action of putting a nail in the wall. It took me nearly a month and a half to complete the mini-quest Obtain Frames because that itself was a multi-step checklist:

  1. determine sizes needed
    1. find measuring implement
    2. measure prints
    3. save measurements in phone
  2. figure out where is best to buy frames 
    1. look at prices online halfheartedly
    2. mention quest casually to my mom who says something about coupons and sales which shouldn't overwhelm me but does
    3. eventually hit the jackpot at Michael's and manage to escape with most of the needed sizes
  3. realize I forgot to measure my siblings' senior photos
    1. which are still safely in the cardboard packaging in which they were given to me
    2. the youngest is now a junior in college
All of that took probably a month from the time I decided I ought to do something about Getting Pictures on Walls. Maybe longer.

I managed to get a few pictures hung, but the beefier frames -- which require two nails spaced a precise distance apart in a line parallel to the ground -- have been thwarted from their rightful places by the lack of nails these last weeks. That's right, the problem now is that I don't have nails. Picture nails. The ones I bought at Michael's with the fancy little hanger dohickeys are basically useless. I need plain old picture nails, straight and true. I resorted to hanging the little frames with thumbtacks. Yup, I'm classy as all get out.

I considered ordering nails with an Amazon order last week so I wouldn't keep forgetting to get them; as ridiculous as that sounds, I regret not doing it. The pictures would be on the walls today, had I done so. Perhaps tomorrow, I will remember to get the nails. Perhaps not. Perhaps it will be the next day. Maybe by Christmas. Surely by the new year.

Yes, it has been one thing after another with this project. And this is one of the minor, simmering-on-the-back-burner kind of projects. It's tiny and I'm not paying it much attention at all -- likely the reason why it's taking so long. Yet, sometimes I am amazed at how complicated the simplest adult things can be.

I am doomed.

But someday, all of the pictures will be on the walls. And that moment grows closer every day.